Part I:
Hangover – the disagreeable
after effects of drunkenness.
Fuck that bullshit.
I can’t believe the human
dictionary could be so incompetent in defining these kinds of things. It’s
freaking nausea and headache at the same time, not to mention the humiliation
that I’ve been anticipating when I’ll face my parents later.
I was so stupid! Why did
I get drunk in the first place?! Now I can’t even recall what I did last night;
only up to the point where Delsey was dragging me downstairs and we asked
permission which we received immediately…then we were having a blast…then El
joined in our crazy drinking session and then…
It’s fuzzy.
It’s too damned fuzzy for
me to decipher. I slowly untangled myself from the sheets, trying not to wake
Elaine and Delsey on either side of me and stood up unsteadily. I surveyed the
bedroom and got a warm wave of relief when it was still in order.
I sighed, tried to
remember some other details from last night – and failed – and finally resigned
to checking my phone. The first thing I checked was the inbox, though I don’t
text much, and was unsurprised to see that there aren’t any new messages. I
checked my call log next.
I gagged.
Names flashed through my
eyes with sickening speed; Sarah, Travis, Unknown number, Sarah again. Damn this. I closed my eyes for a moment
and didn’t open them yet – the dark was so much more inviting than the blinding
nausea.
So, all the people who
called me last night are Cassie and the rest of the bunch, Travis, Sarah and
lots of unknown people.
Prank calls?
I slowly opened my eyes
and considered it, but there were too many people who called for this to be a
silly little joke. Just too many. Then with a mind-numbing thud, I remembered the blinding truth to everything that happened
last night.
It all started with the
blasted photos. Those magazines!
That must mean that these
people are precisely just that – unknown. They’ve read the maagzines. The
fucking magaaazines. So, to simplify it, I had been worried sick for the last
few days because I thought my family would finally find out about Travis so I isolated
them from him, but it turns out that I have to isolate them from the rest of
the world.
Nice.
But I still couldn’t
figure out what really happened last
night. My subconscious was trying to remind me urgently but I can’t…aaargh.
What is it?
What the hell is it?
I swayed on my feet and
settled on the floor slowly. God, I’ll never drink again. Ever. Why did I even do that? I must’ve been a
bloody mess. Was I that depressed?
You were, scumbag.
Oh.
MESS. My mind is a
galactic mess of sorts. Fuuuck. I can’t differentiate what I’ve been imagining
from reality and do you know how hard that is? I don’t even curse this often, but fuck etiquette.
Damn being nice.
Okay. I took a deep
breath. So let’s tackle this nightmare one step at a time.
Dad turned on the music.
Yeah, that’s right; I remember that one as clear as day. Then I was serving
drinks and Uncle Zed stopped me and we had a little chat. Oh, darn it. I told
him about Travis.
And after that, uhm.
Fuck, my head hurts. Okay, after that, the party went smoothly and…speed
stacks. We were playing speed stacks. Right, I remember that. I breathed in and
out now, willing the nausea to ease. So, right after that, El told me about her
Ethan and I…
Fuck.
That did not happen.
My eyes widened as I
remembered the events at this very room. No, no, no! Aaargh. This is not acceptable. Of all the guys in this –
this wretched life I have, it has to be him. He doesn’t even see me! For all I know on his part, I’m
probably just his buddy who was kind enough – no, stupid enough – to help him.
Biting my lower lip, I
stood up cautiously and went to my cabinet. I opened one side and the full-body
mirror instantly reflected me. I moved closer and scrutinized my appearance
with an honest, critical eye.
I wish I hadn’t.
Bloodshot eyes – hangover
or from crying? Why the hell would I even cry?
I’m certainly not that depressed –
same clothes from yesterday, though they look a lot deal more tattered. I look
physically drained. I saw more – eyebags that looked forever etched to my skin
and loose wavy hair that tumbled down in clumps from sleeping. I look like I’ve
been diagnosed with cancer.
You’re not. You’re beautiful.
My eyes flashed.
What was that? What the
hell was that? I must be going
senile. But as I scanned my brain for the source, I know they’ve been said to
me last night. I know it.
But, wait a second. Me?
Beautiful? Yeah, thanks.
I stashed away the
information inside my brain and went back to the topic at hand – Travis. So
what the bloody hell about him?
I looked at myself in the
mirror and I saw my cheeks flaming. Jesus Christ, it’s just his name. Then a strange thought crossed my
mind.
What if he said that?
You’re beautiful.
As I watched, the color
drained from my cheeks and the sparkle died in my eyes like sunset. They filled
with tears.
Travis would never say
that.
Part II:
This is different. I’ve
always disregarded anything I feel, anything serious. But right now is another
story. I’ll have to tread my path with him carefully from now on.
As I combed my wet hair,
I stepped out of the shower and wrapped my body around my white bathrobe. I
tied it securely, finally finished with my hair and looked at myself in the
huge mirror.
I don’t look that bad
anymore – there’s a pink tint on my cheeks from the warm bath and I looked as white
as a porcelain doll, in the middle of the good and bad way. But my eyes are
troubling me; they looked lifeless.
No will. No energy. All
drained.
I sighed and my shoulders
sagged. I’ve never felt so low in my life. Going with him in that park was a mistake.
Spending that lunch with him was a mistake. This never should’ve happened. I
should’ve seen it.
I looked at myself in the
mirror and I saw that I looked, if it was even possible, worse. I blinked and
tears feel to the tiles beneath my feet. I can’t understand it, and I’m used to understanding. You can’t just
leave someone torn up to pieces.
I wiped the tears from my
face with the back of my hand, even though every part of my body feels broken.
I took a deep breath and forced a smile on my face. It seemed to tear my face
apart, but I kept the smile intact. I started gathering my things when my
ringtone echoed through the bathroom space. My smile disappeared.
Shakily putting my
belongings back, I took out my phone and felt even worse. Much, much worse.
Travis Warner, the caller ID simply said.
Pressing the answer key,
I answered as normally as possible, “Hello.”
“Avery.” More tears fell
as I heard his voice. I held the countertop and took a deep breath. Fuck it, Avery. “I think you called last
night, but I can’t remember. Sorry.”
“It’s all right. That’s
why I called you.” When I bit my lip, I immediately tasted blood. “Travis?”
There was a pause before
he replied, “Yes?”
“Nothing.” I changed my
mind at the last second. Pretty stupid of me to say I love him when he doesn’t even
like me back. I waited for his response but heard nothing. My brow furrowed in
concern, “Travis? You okay?”
“I’m not.”
The words hit me hard. It
squeezed my heart until I couldn’t breathe. As more tears streamed down my
cheeks, my spirit spiraled even lower. How could he just say that?
“I…last night. Did I say
anything?”
“Let’s talk when I get
there.”
When you get here…
“I’ll wait for you.” I
realized that I meant those words more than I let on.
Part III:
Fully dressed, I paced in
Mom and Dad’s room, gathering courage for the inevitable. He’s on his way here.
To my home. My heart thudded faster. When I checked earlier, my parents and all
the other adults are having their morning coffee along with cookies. I escaped
here just to prepare on how to give them a heads-up.
So far, my mind is still
a total blank.
No guts, no glory, my dear niece.
Before I could lose the
moment, I strode towards the door, and in no time, I’m already facing all of
them. “Avery,” Aunt Adelaine said, “Coffee?” she offered, raising her own cup.
As I shook my head no, Uncle Zed soundlessly offered the chair next to him for
me to sit on.
Everyone went on with the
conversation and Uncle quickly slipped a hundred bucks in my pocket. I gave him
a smile, which hopefully disguised my discomfort.
Okay. This is it.
Taking a deep breath, I
faced my parents at the head of the table. As if the hundred dollar bill gave
me energy, I waited until Grandpa Ian finished his remark on their talk and
smoothly joined in the conversation,
“Dad, Mom. You remember
Travis, don’t you?”
Everyone’s eyebrows
pitched rocketed upward aside from Uncle Zed, who was grinning excitedly. My parents
were smiling but it was Dad who replied, “What about him, Ave?”
I sought my courage and
forged on, “We talked last night and…and he’d really like to meet you all.”
Before anybody else could
react, he chuckled and said, “Absolutely.” Mom smiled, “Where is he, darling?”
“He’s going to be here
soon. I’ll wait outside.” I stood up and left the table because I don’t want to
be there when they ask the questions. But my parents don’t even know Travis’ last
name. Not even Uncle Zed.
They’ll find out sooner
rather than later.
I pushed the door open
and the fresh air greeted me the instant I took the first step over the
threshold. The sun was beating down on me, but the heat is more bearable than
not. Sighing, I walked on the gate and took three steps down and sat. What’s
intended to happen will happen. Let’s
just see how this damned thing goes.
3 minutes later
The instant I heard the
sounds of what unmistakably be other than a vehicle, my tired muscles tensed
and my senses sharpened. The only good thing about this is that I’m incredibly
tired and still on hangover to boot. I restrained the urge to tear up and curse
as the sight of his car showed up on my right and parked in front of our little
home.
My legs straightened on
their own accord and I stood up. I was unfocused and detached from the world
and I only saw the driver’s side opening and he came out. His eyes met mine at
the next second and he walked purposefully towards me, his eyes never leaving
me.
It’s as if my universe
became him and my everything became him. Now that I’ve set my eyes on him, I’m
determined never to let him slip away from me. That would be impossible. It can’t
be that way.
As if drawn to him, I met
him halfway and the moment I can touch his skin, without thinking, I wrapped my
arms around his familiar neck and pulled him down to me and kissed him like my
life depended on it. And he did the same. I could even feel my feet being
lifted from the ground and I felt only bliss, being complete and nothing else.
My body was more than
humming – it was craving. It seemed as if eternity had passed before we both
pulled away at the same time and I looked in the bluest eyes I’ve had the privilege
to see, to know, cherish and understand. It’s like I can see into his very soul
and I wanted it that way.
He didn’t smile and
neither did I. So many turbulent emotions can be seen on the surface and there
were still things to be sorted out. He just whispered.
“Maybe we should come in.”
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