Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Chapter 21: Part of me

Chapter 21: Part of me (Wattpad)

I promised myself that I would tell my parents what’s been happening. I know. I promised myself to do that as I tore out some pages from the magazines to show my cousin that I’m not crazy and salvaged the bloody things. 

But here I am, a glass of beer in my hand and laughing my heart out with El and Delsey. Since last year, Mom and Dad had given me express permission to drink alcohol. I never really saw any opportunities and motives to do so in the first place but apparently, this is a night where all the rules are getting thrown out of the window.

Kat, Nique, Harvey and Lorraine pouted and practically begged their parent to let them join us they gave a flat out, automatic no.

We were side by side on the couch, our faces flushed and the amber liquid sloshing down from our glasses as we tried to control our fits of laughter. In case you’re wondering – and I’m sure as hell that you are – I am not drunk. Never. But okay, fine. That one time when the entire family had a reunion, I got really drunk. That was sometime after my 16th birthday. I am not drunk. I just have difficulty seeing things clear – clearly – because the glare of the light is directly above us – me? – and I’m feeling really, extremely dizzy. Or is it tipsy? What the hell is the difference?

Delsey and El started singing Katy Perry and I was the first one to crack up real bad. They are so bad singers. I mean, they’re fucking with the tune so bad that I – I – can’t even recognize the song. That just doesn’t make sense, right? It doesn’t make any fucking sense, but maybe that’s just due to the fact that my gaze is a little blurry on the sides. But atleast I’m not hallucinating. Yet.

I giggled. 

“Hey, Miss genius!” El said, slumped over the arm of the couch and taking a sip. I blinked slowly and – ohh. Me, the super genius. Right. I haven’t heard that title for so long. It – it really does make me feel good; it makes me a whole new, different identity. Even if that identity includes being the nerdy fucked-up, and absolutely unwanted girl. I mean, if I even managed to fall in love, why the fuck that guy? That’s just really fucked. Up. It’s stupid. And I don’t do stupid, I’m used to being the right one. And just fuck it.

“Yeaah? Present, ma’am.” I raised up my hand and Elaine burst to fresh laughter and said, “Your phone is vibrating. It looks really funny, like that rodent from South Africa – ”

“Whaaat? Why South Africa?” Delsey commented and then laughed hysterically, slipping off the couch and unto the floor. Elaine recovered enough to say, “I could tell you all about the historical background of South America and then tell me it’s boring.”

“I thought it was Africa?” Delsey’s eyebrows pitched up.

“Dolt, it was the south of America. I think you’re drunk…”

I ignored the two martyrs and pulled out my phone while trying to get out of the couch. I swayed fucking dangerously for a moment and I thought I was going to die but I somehow planted my feet to the ground. 

Ha ha. Planted. That’s funny. I can plant my feet. Ha ha. 

I staggered outside with my beloved liquid still in hand and I looked at the screen of my old-fashioned phone. I really couldn’t read the name clearly. Am I going blind? Or senile? Ha ha. I took some more gulps, feeling the alcohol travel through my veins in a warm, sensual way. But I still can’t make out the name.

It has a letter T. Uhm, uh. Theresa? Or, uhm, someone Tom? Reeya? No, I don’t know any Reeya. But it’s such a nice name. Ha ha.

It took a few more moments to register that the anonymous person was calling. I managed to hit the right key and put it on my ear.

“Hi there. Who are you?” I don’t know why, but I suddenly laughed. I feel funny.

“Avery? It’s Travis. And…are you okay?”

“Travis? Oh, I thought you were Tom.” I took another sip of beer and my mind seemed to be beeping. Reminding me of something, I guess. There was really this something that I was upset over…

“Who the hell is Tom? Avery, are you drinking with a guy?”

I burst out laughing. This Travis is funny. “I don’t know Tom, either. But he looks handsome. Uhm, uh. I think it was some other name. Errol? Aaah. Ethan. That’s it. He’s a nice, nice guy. Fucking gorgeous.” 

There was silence on the other end of the line.

Whaaat? I really did hear from someone that Ethan is drop-dead gorgeous, but I can’t see who. It’s like a muddy haze. Ha ha. Muddy haze. How can a haze be fuzzy? I should write that on my report for Sunday. But…I think it’s due on Thursday, but I really can’t be sure…Friday?

“Where are you?” the voice asked curtly. 

Why is he being so grumpy? He’s like a big, big bad bear. 

“Uhm. I’m sorry.” I chuckled, “Why are you so grumpy? You sound like a veeery big, bad bear. But I really like your voice, bear – ”

“Fuck it, Avery. Where the hell are you?” 

My brow knitted together – ha ha. knitted together – and I pouted. I’m a good girl; I don’t hit people. And I get nice grades.

“I’m just here. Just here, looking at that huge tree – oh! I remember something!” This is a really nice story! “Do you know Travis?”

“Avery, you’re drunk – ” 

“Travis is my boyfriend! Do you know Travis? I saw him in the, uhm. Magazines. I saw him in the magazine. Funny, right? You know, I like him so much. He’s so funny and different and very comfortable, do you know him?” 

Another silence.


“Avery, I’ll be right there, okay? Stay where you are.” 

“But I’m not finished with my story yeeet.” I heard the person chuckle softly and he replied gently, “Tell me the rest of the story when I get there, okay? Where are you, love?”

“We’re having a – a party right here in our small house. It’s so funny that lots of people can fit in it. And, uh. Did you just call me something? Oh, nevermind. Just come here quick; I’m feeling really, really tipsy.”

“I will.” The call ended.

I refilled my glass with more beer from the bottle. I can see sooo many stars. The grass isn’t so itchy so it feels really funny. I also noticed that the phone in my pocket was always ringing, but it says, Unknun numbur.

I don’t have alien friends.

So I didn’t answer. But Unknun numbur was still calling. They’re so friendly, aren’t they? I wonder if Unknun numbur has a wife.

Suddenly, I heard a car stop in front of our gate and I sit straight up, still drinking my juice. I wonder what brand this is – it’s so nice and very…tasty. For a normal juice.

“Avery.” Someone whispered.

“Huuh? Are – what? Ghosts?”

“Wow.” The same person said, “You’re so drunk.”

I blinked several times until some of my vision returned. There’s someone at the gate…he looks familiar. Is that Adam Levine? He must’ve dyed his hair; it’s supposed to be black.

“Heeey.” This is funny. I didn’t know Adam died, “Are you a burglar? Should I scream?” The person chuckled and then said, “Come over here, Avery. Can’t you see me?” Have I gone blind? But I see enough light – above me and the burglar are circle lanterns, but I really can’t see his face…

“Burglars look like shit, don’t they? But you…why do you look like Adam Levine?”

He laughed again. “Come over here and answer.”

“Oh, okay.” I stood up slowly and swayed to the side and then I got my glass and very nice bottle of tasty juice and staggered to the gate. 

“Avery…I had no idea that you drink.” 

I pressed my head against the metal bars, breathing slow; waking is really hard. I should ask Mom to buy me a stroller.

“Hey. You’re not Adam.” He grinned at me and his face was up close, even with the gate between us. He looks really funny and familiar. Did I meet him somewhere?

“I’m not Adam. I’m Travis, remember?” Huh? That doesn’t make any sense. I laughed out loud and drank some more juice. 

“That is fucking funny. And someone called me earlier – he’s a big, bad bear. Do you know him? He was really bad. He was – was – ” I laughed uncontrollably, “He was asking where I was and I told him I like you. Is that okay?”

Travis smiled and slipped his hand through the bars and cupped my flushed cheek. That feels nice. Really nice, actually.

“Yes, it’s okay.”

I chuckled and put my hand on top of his. It’s really, really nice. I think I should just chop off his hand and keep it for myself.

“Really? You won’t be angry with me? You won’t hit me?”

He blinked. “I would never do that.” Aaah. Okay, that’s good. “You sure, okay? I really, really like you.” He smiled delightfully at what I said and told me, “I like you, too.” 

I laughed out loud. Now, that is funny. “No, you don’t. No one likes the nerd in real life. And I’m actually on top of the list.”

“You’re not. You’re beautiful.” 

I blinked because my heart seemed to stop functioning. The blur seemed to lessen around me but my headache intensified. Oh, God, it hurts like hell. That doesn’t seem right.

“You’re lying. No one ever called me beautiful.”

He smiled again and said, “Maybe they’re blind.” Maybe. Yeah, maybe they are. There’s still something nagging at me in the back of my mind. Shouldn’t I be…

“You know, I really did – didn’t – I didn’t plan to tell you that I’m in love with you. I really didn’t. Isn’t that funny? I thought I hated you, you see. And then, a couple of hours ago – two hours ago happened and I don’t know! It just happened like, like gravity and uhm, tidal waves! But I know you don’t like me back, so I told myself to keep it quiet and then, then after two months, this will be all over and I’ll just walk away like nothing happened. Cliché, right? But this is my fault. I always fall in love with the wrong person. I thought having an IQ of 113 would help, but it didn’t, you know?”


There’s really something that sending me alarm bells, but my head is so full of other things and whatever the urgent thing is, it’s being covered up by so many others. My brow furrowed and I patted his hand that was frozen on my cheek.

“Hey, you look bad.” 

“Avery,” he hesitated for a long time and finally said, “Are you in love with me?”

“I know! I am so sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I didn’t ask for this, but then I started feeling happy around you and I just – I don’t know! I can’t explain it. It’s – I won’t mention it again, ever. In my whole life, I’ve never felt so stupid.” Tears stung my eyes and my heart felt tight. “I mean, how could someone like you be with me in the first place? It’s preposterous. I – I’m so stupid.”

“Don’t cry, Avery.” He sounded guilty.

“As if you care.”

He didn’t answer.

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