Part I:
Why isn’t the world
cooperating with me in this crucial situation? I just need an answer to why. Both of my parents were still
looking at me expectantly, hoping for an answer. Crap, crap, crap. I obviously
can’t wriggle my way out of this one. My teeth clenched and I forced them to
unsnap so I could speak.
“Travis is a
good…listener.” Fuck. If I said he was a good kisser, my Dad would pop an
artery and Mom will be out of sorts and my entire life will be in shambles.
Where are you, guardian
angel?
“What do you tell him,
honey?” Mom asked curiously. Gah. Why are they so nosy? Why do they want to
know? Why is this happening to me? I
licked my lips and answered vaguely, “I tell him stuff about…myself.” I nodded
slightly, “Yeah, that’s about it.” Dad destroyed my life by saying,
“Do you think he can come
tomorrow?”
Bloody hell no.
“I dunno, Dad. Maybe.
I’ll just, you know, ask him.” I shrugged my shoulders, “He’s kind of busy.”
Dad nodded and replied, “Good, that’s okay.” Mom was still smiling at me in
that weird way that makes me think she knows something. She probably does, but
all she said was, “Can you help me tidy this up?”
After everything’s been
taken care of, I went to my room and shut the door. The package from this
morning stared up at me from the bed. I approached and sat beside it, fingering
the lid. I was saving this for tonight – a.k.a. right now – because frankly, I
don’t know what to expect. It’s from his mother.
From Mrs. Warner.
I sucked up my courage
and opened it, and there before my eyes was a cocktail dress. My brow furrowed.
It’s colored caramel with swirly designs all over it. It’s really…cute. But
atleast it’s not pink. The dress is modest actually, considering what it is.
But when I turned it around, I scowled deeper – from the waist up, the place
where a normal zipper would be was replaced by a criss-crossing type of tying and
the ribbon is at the bottom.
Why a dress? Why not a
bomb or something?
Suddenly, there was a
knocking on the door and it swung open, showing Mom in her pajamas. Her eyes
instantly lit up and appraised the dress, while closing the door behind her.
“Hi, Mom.”
She smiled and sat down
next to me. “I like the dress.” I chuckled a little and replied, “Yeah, it’s
nice.”
“I just came here to
check on you.” She stood up and planted a kiss on my head, “Goodnight, Avery.”
“’Night, Mom.”
She walked back and shut
the door close, leaving me alone. I pursed my lips, deliberating. To hell with
the dress; I have another thing to do. I carefully placed the item back and
covered it, and then I put it inside my cabinet. I pulled out my stationary and
my ballpen and looked at what I wrote so far –
Things I hate about Travis Anthony Warner
He makes my blood boil.
He thinks he rules the world.
He’s vain.
All of those things are
sort of true, up to this very moment, but the list looks lacking somehow. I
need to write more.
He’s impulsive. The bloody tree incident would stay with me forever. I wrote again, He’s a bad influence. Three words for
that – cutting bloody classes. My record is destroyed.
I sat on my bed for
several minutes and just wrote down everything. It feels like some weight has
been lifted from my shoulder actually. When I was done, I looked at all my
additional entries.
He spends too much money.
He’s used to dominating people.
He wants you to answer his orders.
He always has surprises.
He’s just the bane of my existence, okay?
He likes to break the bloody rules.
His smile is bright. Too bright.
He can make people laugh easily. It’s unfair.
He thinks he’s a good kisser.
I looked at the last
entry. I know that I’m slightly lying when I wrote that, but…Jesus Christ. What
am I supposed to do, then? I furiously grabbed my pen and crashed out the last
one and wrote below it,
He’s a good kisser. So what?
-
Several miles away, the same
kisser was hunched over a paper, pen in hand.
She can be a good kisser. Can be.
-
Part II:
“Mom, where the hell is
the baking soda?”
“Your father’s still at
the supermarket, he’ll have it.” She was creaming together the butter, brown
and white sugar. “Honey, can you pass two eggs to me, please?” I automatically
opened the refrigerator and got out the eggs. I tossed them to Mom, one at a
time. “Thanks, hun.” While she beat them and stirred in the vanilla, I heated
two teaspoons of water.
If you look around the
kitchen right now, you wouldn’t know that we’re preparing a dessert for ten
people. It’s still ordered as much as possible thanks to my mother’s uncanny
ability to wipe out as much as a splat of liquid. Dad has gone to the market,
buying anything that we still need and Mom gave him a list, so he couldn’t be
long. We’re actually expecting him right now.
“Mom, we really need the
baking – ” I was interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell and without being
asked, I went to the front gate to let Dad in. I found him laden with groceries
as I swung the gate open.
“Hey, Dad. Let me help.”
I started heaving one of the bags up and he did the same with the others,
following me to the perfectly manicured lawn. “Thanks, honey. I needed that.”
“I figured.” I winked at
him.
When Dad finally laid
down the bags, Mom and I went into overdrive, doing what needs to be done as if
reading each other’s minds while Dad came out to the garden to hang up the
circular lantern things for light later this evening. I helped Mom stir in the
flour, chocolate chips and the cup of chopped walnuts, though I felt like
crumpling to the floor and just sleep.
I haven’t had a decent
sleep last night. I think it would be a long time before I experience that particular
privilege once again. Finally, I figured that wasting my energy on thinking
about someone at night when they’re not even sparing me a second thought was
downright useless. So I fell asleep at four am.
And
woke up at six. Splendid.
Also, it was really
foolish to have a silly crush on someone because most probably, you’re they’re
only option when bored. That twisted amount of sleep surprisingly did a lot on
straightening my views.
“Avery, can you shape
these and put it in the pans? I’ll check if your Dad broke his leg or
something.” I chuckled while replying, “Okay, Mom. Take your time.” She went
out and discarded her apron on the way and I resumed my task. We’ve been doing
nothing but prepare the food and the house for the onslaught of visitors in
just about an hour. But we haven’t even prepared ourselves.
Five minutes later, the
almost-finished cookies are inside the oven set to 350 degrees Fahrenheit –
converting that to degrees Celsius that would be – gah. Nevermind. Dad was on
the upstairs bathroom getting ready and though I insisted on keeping watch over
the cookies, Mom won me over and now, I’m scanning the contents of my cabinet,
looking for something suitable to wear. I always had trouble dressing up for
parties of any kind.
“Avery!”
I heard my Mom calling downstairs and I walked towards the window beside the
cabinet and opened it, looking down. I saw Mom wearing her apron and looking up
at me from the ground floor of the house. She only said, “They’ll be here in thirty.”
Oh, God.
I quickly grabbed
anything at random together with a towel and ran from the room.
30 minutes later
The sound of the van pulling
up on the front of our house, followed by an SUV made my stomach churn. It’s
not like I don’t love my family enough to not anticipate gatherings, it’s just
the current situation that had me on my toes. Please don’t let Travis come here or anything like that to happen, guardian
angel. Please.
Mom and Dad were already
outside, and I could hear the greetings from my uncles, giggles and chatters of
my cousins and everyone’s “how have you been” questions. In the kitchen, I
removed the last batch of cookies from the oven. Right after I did that, I
heard Aunt Laine say,
“Avery, come here!”
Instantly, Harvey and Nique chorused together, their voices raised and loud, “Yeah,
Avery, come here!” I sighed. The others I could handle, my twin devil cousins,
not so much. Who knew five year-olds can be so annoying?
I walked over to the
front door, noting my appearance on our wall mirror and surveyed my skinny
jeans and grey turtleneck over my slim build. Skinny would be more accurate,
but I don’t want to encourage myself to commit suicide. I look okay, okay? And I like the fact that the
sleeves reach up to my elbows. Steeling myself, I opened the door and a sea of
people was before my eyes, all talking with rapport on out front yard. I only heard
the shrieks of the twins for me to recognize their arrival.
“Avery! Do you have
candy? I want candy – ”
“I don’t like candy! I
want your cookies!” Harvey cut his twin off. Both of them have high IQ for
their age – like me – so they can already speak fluently in the age of five. Harvey
is seven minutes older than Nique, but by behavior, it seems otherwise. She
started dragging her twin inside and I didn’t even bother coming in after them –
the last time I tried…let’s just not talk about it. I walked to the lawn uncomfortably,
sending smiles of my own for those sent to my direction and I joined Mom and
Dad talk with Grandpa Ian and Uncle Lawrence. Grandpa Ian came from Dad’s side
and they look so creepily alike aside from the things that change the visage as
age goes by. Mom is Uncle Lawrence’s sister-in-law; he married her sister, Aunt
Elise, but she passed away two years ago, leaving Uncle to take care of his
twins and his oldest, Delsey.
Delsey and Uncle Rence
are the only one who can control the twins without raising their voices or
making a fuss. They’re talented like that.
“Look at you!” Uncle
began. He always begins greetings with me in that sentence and the next thing
he would say would be that he wouldn’t be able –
“I wouldn’t be able to
recognize you! You’ve grown so much, come give your uncle a hug.”
“Hey, Uncle Rence.” I
hugged him tightly. He used to give me ten bucks just for hugging him and as he
pulled back now, he gave me a wink. That probably means that I’ll get it later.
I grinned at him hugely then turned to Grandpa.
“Hey, Grandpa. Uhm, what’s
up?” We were never really close, so it’s achingly awkward when we greet. But
unlike others of his age, Grandpa doesn’t use a cane, saying that they’re “a
complete waste of money and energy.” I couldn’t agree more; when he was still
in his thirties, he exercised an awful lot, went to the gym, had swimming and
jogging activities, every single thing. He turned to me and a slight frown was
on his face, “Why do you ask what’s up?” he demanded snappily, “In our days, we
don’t ask what’s up or down or to the side – we ask properly. Now, my child,
let me hear you do the same.”
I told you it’s awkward.
“How’s the Himalayas
adventure, Grandpa?”
I could tell he wasn’t
expecting me to know that, but he smiled genuinely, looking pleased. He smiled
toothily and said in response, “It was wonderful, honey.” I took my cue and
pecked him on the cheek and turned to the others just as Mom said, “Let’s go
inside, what do you think?” As we all followed her, Elaine took my arm and
smiled at me. I chuckled and said, “Long time, no see.”
“I have something to
share with you later.” She looks excited already and I could tell she’s going
to share a lot. At this rate, I know
I should be explaining my family tree to you so you won’t get confused and be
out of track.
Elaine is my cousin on my
Mom’s side and she has two other sisters – Lorraine and Kathlyn. El’s the
oldest, followed by Lorraine and Kat. I used to tease them being Charlie’s
Angels, but that was a few years ago. Their father, Uncle Zedrick, is Mom’s
brother. He’s divorced but Elaine and the others still see their mother at
Christmas and on holidays.
So that’s about it. The
others are back home at Raleigh, and others still, moved out of the country. We’re
a little bit scattered across the globe, so we’re always grateful when we have
some guests over. I heard Kat say, “Uncle Charlie, do we have to get our bags
from the van?” As my Dad said no and explained why, I marveled at the fact at
how a seven year-old could sound so cute.
Once everyone was in, Dad
discreetly turned on the music and the house became alive at once, the jazz
music flowing smoothly through the room as everyone took places at the couch,
stood around and caught up with one another. Knowing what to do, I went to the
kitchen and got the softdrinks and passed them around.
“Avery!” I turned around and faced Uncle Zed, his salt
and pepper hair the same, like his lanky build and easygoing manner that
accented his eyes. He said, “You shouldn’t be serving drinks like a bloody
waitress!” he took the softdrinks away from my hands before I could protest and
told me, “Nuh-uh. No buts here, Avery. Let’s sit down here.” I just smiled,
giving up and I seated myself next to my closest uncle in the whole family.
We’ve been close as far
as I can remember – he brought me my first bike, taught me how to play cards,
gave me money for no reason, things like that. Uncle Zed is fantastic.
“So.” He said.
“So.” I just nodded,
repeating what he just said. He chuckled and came straight to the point, “Sylvia
said something interesting to me.” As my posture turned rigid and I froze, his
eyes shined. His expression looked like he was finally attaining his inner
desires. Fuck.
Look here, since I turned
fifteen, his number one priority for me had been to get me a boyfriend. I
managed to avoid it until now. But I knew this would happen. No one can hide anything
in this family. He said, “So.”
“So.” I echoed faintly.
Uncle chuckled and turned to me, “I just want to know some details and it might
not spread around this party.” He winked conspiratorially.
“But – but – It’s pretty complicated
– ”
“What? Is that your new
status on Facebook or something?” I gave him a knowing smile. “Nice try. You
know I don’t have an account.” He laughed jovially and took a swig of
softdrink. “I was trying to be in-the-now but nevermind that. So what’s his
name?”
“Shh!” I said hastily.
Uncle Zed knowing is better than someone or anyone else. I wonder what would
happen if the twins find out?
Too ghastly. I won’t
think about that again.
“Okay, okay.” He amended
slightly in hushed tones, “So what’s the gent’s name?” he whispered. I rolled my
eyes and replied, “Travis.” His eyebrows pitched up and his comment was, “He
sounds handsome,” he have exactly no
idea, “And his last name?”
Okay, deep breaths. Do I
tell that his family is a multi-millionaire and producing hundreds of thousands
on every tick of the clock or just shut the hell up?
“Just Travis.”
He pursed his lips, “Hmm.
Sounds like you’re keeping something from good ol’ Uncle Zed.” Aaargh. I cannot
tell him that they own Gedi Institute. I just can’t. That would be too…overwhelming, cliché and comical and just
about everything I don’t find appealing. I turned to him.
“I’ll just tell you some
other time. Just not now, please?” he chuckled and asked his own question. “Who
else knows?”
“Everyone at school, Mom,
Dad and You. Do I have to mention that you’re the weak link?” As I said that,
he just seemed more amused.
“Don’t you trust me? I’d
very much like to meet this Travis.” He grinned at me excitedly.
The party went full blast
as the clock ticked by. Every now and then there would be a peal of laughter
followed by another joke which would make us crack up. The adults were on the
table with a bottle of wine and they’re talking about our relatives in London.
Meanwhile, my cousins and I are sprawled on the living room floor.
It’s Nique’s turn now to
use the speed stacks. For someone her age, she can already play it as well as
me and better than Lorraine and Kat. Everyone in the family has a forte.
Unfortunately, my skills
don’t fall on the lie-right-now-it-would-save-your-neck category.
2 hours later
“Avery, I deserve him,
right?” Elaine held my hands, while we stood alone in the bedroom. Everyone
else was downstairs and I can even hear the twins running and screaming their
lungs out, but here I am. For full forty minutes, Elaine fed me information
about this guy named Ethan, who was apparently sending her emails and met her
last week. She’s lovestruck.
No, she’s obsessed.
“Avery, answer me! I do
deserve him, right? I always get As, I always get the top spot in class and I’m
always an honor student!” her eyes were wide and she prattled on before I could
say a word. “Not that I exert effort to have a boyfriend, but the point is
that, I worked hard! Then this guy comes along and – what the bloody hell
should I do? Let the opportunity slip?”
“Actually, I’d – ”
“Bloody hell no, right?”
I stifled a sigh and
tried to search for a right answer. She’s fifteen and I think this is her first
time…like me. Unfortunately.
“Listen, El. Just take it
slow, all right? Make sure what you really want is…that guy.”
“Ethan.” she reminded
with an eyebrow raised.
“Right. Ethan. So, just
keep your emotions in check before you rush into anything, okay?”
“But, just listen! Okay,
Ave.” she took a deep breath, “Okay, just picture this for a moment: your life
was dull. Grey. Not much of anything. And you’re always surrounded by friends!
I love my friends, but I’m looking for something else. Get me?”
I more than see what this
long-haired blonde means.
“Yeah, I see. So what
happens – ”
“So, this guy comes so
suddenly and…everything went perfect!”
she was smiling so hugely now and she said the following words with so much
emotion, “Everything changed! Your life isn’t dull and grey anymore! It's colorful and it’s just
perfect! Ave, I feel so wonderful for no reason and I feel perfect all the
time! Isn’t that amazing? Ave, I am
so happy. I hope you meet him!”
Her eyes were shining so
bright now and with it, came the sparkle. She looks so…in love.
“Ave, you okay?”
I blinked rapidly. “Yeah.
I’m fine.”
Elaine seemed hesitant, “You
know, you seem different today. I just can’t point my finger on it.” Her forehead
crinkled in thought, “I saw you laughing with Lorraine earlier.”
That was odd. “Err, and
what’s wrong with laughing?”
“Ave, when we have
parties, you stick your nose on a book and never resurface for hours.” Damn,
she’s sharp, “I find it fishy.”
“I just laughed – ”
“Whoa, you’re blushing!”
she said incredulously. “Avery, are you in love with a guy?”
No!
“No, I’m not! Why the
hell would I be?”
She was smiling, “You
know, I’ve studied the signs of lying and you’re displaying every single bit of
denial I can find – ”
“No. Seriously. I’m not –
”
“So, what’s his name?”
This is not. No. I’m not
in love with that crazy, son of a –
“Avery?”
Absorbed in my own mind,
I muttered absently, “You know, why don’t you just grab some cookies downstairs
and call Ethan?” At the mention of his name, all other thoughts flew out of her
mind and she hugged me, “Thank you, Ave!” Without further ado, she let go and
raced downstairs.
I swept my hand through
my hair and bit my lower lip, but seeing nothing at all. This is scary. I’ve
been very careful not to think about the l-word around him and El just shoved
it to my face.
I felt my heart rate
getting faster and faster as my mind came to one certain, obvious conclusion.
Moisture gathered.
Avery, are you in love with a guy?
Fuck.
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