Epilogue

Epilogue (Wattpad)

Guilt.

Travis had been living with it a year now, after that drastic chain of events took place for the both of them. A whole year, yet Travis had never let go, never forgot. And he never will.

He stared at the same decrepit white wall. White is the color for purity, yet the hue seemed to mock at him everytime. But it was better than looking at the ring on his finger. He never removed it, but it only causes sheer torture when he gives it the slightest glance.

Everyone was petrified when they found out. And they all blamed him for everything. Every single thing. The burning expressions from everyone as they looked at Avery through the small glass door were agony to him. Every single one of them put the blame on his shoulders; her parents, her friends, and her family all looked at him differently. They sent him silent, but hurt, angry and betrayed looks.

Right after everyone had found out, Travis’ world shattered like brittle glass. Evidences point that Avery, while still being held captive, got hold of the rapist’s knife and stabbed him multiple times – forty-two times. She’d been unconscious in the hospital for many days; days where every loved one visited, took care and guarded over her. But when Travis walks in, the tension in the air rises, speaking louder than words. Everyone prayed that she would wake up.

When she did, they regretted every prayer.

A psychiatrist said that this was normal, but to Travis’ mind, it’s not. She would come back to him, surely. She would, wouldn’t she? 

But two days later, they transferred her to the asylum. She kept screaming every single day and she would not let any male approach her – only Travis.

He didn’t know if it was a blessing or a curse. Every person who attempts to go near her to talk or calm her down – even her parents – always comes out hurt and injured and she shouted at them. Only he could come on her and when he did, she would bury herself in his arms and succumb to heartbreaking tears, murmuring nonsensical words over and over. 

They had so much love together, but so little time. He’d do anything he could to give them more time. Anything. She had her whole life ahead of her and yet she’s here. Slowly wilting. Not even in control of her mind. This shouldn’t have happened to her. A person like her deserves more, so much more.

She deserves to be happy, secure and everything good in the world. She should be with him.

But she isn’t. She’s here. 

Chapter 29: Toward the end

Chapter 29: Toward the end (Wattpad)

Part I: 

I blinked my eyes open and drew the blanket higher up to my chin. I seemed to be half-asleep, but my mind persistently whispered to me that a blanket was out of place. Odd. The sunlight streaming through the windows did a bit of disorientation to my eyes, but then my mind shouted that a window is definitely off set. Groaning sleepily, I rubbed my eyes and tried to make sense of my surroundings.

My bedroom.

I slowly sat up and looked around. Next, I looked at myself and tried to remember if I put on the nightgown I was wearing. Surely, I did wear that. But the funny thing is, I can’t recall at all. How the hell can I not remember if I wore something or not?

I suddenly heard a soft knocking and I said in a sleepy voice, “Come in.” I wasn’t at all surprised when Mom came in, smiling pleasantly. What caught me off guard was the tray of food she was carrying.

“Breakfast in bed?” I asked good-humoredly as she approached me with a chuckle. She had her hair in a bun today, so that must mean that she has to go to the bank. I sat up gingerly as she set the tray in front of me. 

“We figured that you’ll be really groggy and grumpy when you wake up, so your Dad prepared this.” 

I blinked. “Dad?” I looked at the toast, sunny side-up and bacon that looks just perfect. I somehow find that hard to believe. “Dad made this?” I asked for the second time. Mom nodded her response and added, “I made your juice.” I looked at the orange juice beside the plate and smiled at her, “Thanks, Mom. And I’m not grumpy.” I chuckled.

“You were asleep when Travis dropped you back; your Dad had to carry you up the stairs.” She smiled at the memory. I imagined my soft-natured father carrying me all the way to my bedroom. “Is he okay?” I laughed.

“He’s fine. And about your school dance for tonight – what will you wear?” she had her eyebrows up and I quickly went to the defense before she harbors any ideas, “Remember the dress from last Friday?” Realization dawned on her and she nodded approvingly. “I won’t be home until later tonight, okay? Just rest or you’ll pass out in front of everyone when you go dancing.” Then she smiled. “Have fun, Ave. See you later.”

“Bye, Mom.” She kissed my forehead lightly and smiled at me one last time before going out.

I faced the tray of food and took a sip from the juice. So, I fell asleep; mystery solved. As I started to eat my breakfast, I thought of the day ahead. I find it uncomfortably strange that I have nothing to do but wait for tonight. But at that moment, I didn’t think much about anything except the fun I hill have at the event and how everyday seems to be an occasion of some sort.

But tonight has far more in store for me, and everyone I held dear.

Part II:

It’s six-thirty pm. For some parts of the morning and the whole of afternoon, I tried to fill up my day with activities right after I prepared for the upcoming event tonight. I tried to watch the television after taking a bath but gave up quickly after being bored to tears. I honestly don’t know how people stand to watch others do some drama on the screen. 

I read two pocketbooks in a row and called my friends, deciding that we should meet inside the school gym where the school dance is being held for maybe atleast, ten minutes before it starts. I gave them my okay to them and as I placed the receiver back to its place, I remembered biting my lip and wondering what to do next. Dad insisted on taking a nap and I walked upstairs like a zombie, intending to do just that, but I didn’t expect a simple nap to last atleast six hours. 

“Two kings.” Dad muttered, putting two cards on the table between us and took a bite of his toast.

“Bluff?” I guessed, holding my breath. He heaved a great sigh and upturned his cards, which were certainly not kings and added both to his deck. “I’m not a good liar.” 

I laughed. “I got that from you, then.” I finished the toast on my right hand and shuffled my cards and resumed the game with a pair of threes.

We’ve been playing for thirty minutes straight while eating toast. I already beat Dad five times, much to my amusement. I was waiting for his turn when he said, “I quit.”

I burst out laughing at the defeated look on his face. “Come on, Dad. One more round?”

“Not a chance.” He shook his head, albeit smiling. He said gruffly, “Why don’t you go and get dressed and put on your make-up or something?”

“I don’t do make-up.” I remarked as I arranged the whole deck of cards and put it on a small box.

“I still want to see you in that new dress of yours before you go clubbing.”

“Dancing, not clubbing, Dad. Seriously, I don’t even go near clubs.” I rolled my eyes  as he looked at me with in endearment and he said, “Sorry, honey. So why don’t you prepare a fashion show for me?”

“I’m on it.” I jumped to my feet and went up the stairs to my bedroom, taking note of my appearance at once on the mirror of my cabinet. No more eyebags – not bad. I took the dress and removed it from the hanger and began taking off my clothes and pulled the dress over my head. It actually feels fine, and I don’t look really bad at all. The white swirling designs are very nice to look at and – oh no. I twisted my torso around and looked at the complicated strings on my back, still untied.

I can’t believe I’ve forgotten it was a criss-crossing type of silly dress. I carefully reached back and tightened the two strings and tied it like a ribbon. I combed my hair until it’s ridiculously smooth and shiny before putting on topaz earrings and a simple necklace with fine chains. I didn’t bother with any ring as I looked at the one I’m wearing. Without being aware of it, I smiled at the name painted on the ring. 

I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

The real challenge was the heels. I stared at the three-inch…thing, and wondered if I might break my ankle or fall flat on my face. I debated for five more minutes before finally grabbing them and putting them on.

I took a deep breath and faced the mirror. I look...different and strangely normal at the same time. Different because I feel, tall. The black heels did a lot of work, I admit. But I saw some people wear more outrageous outfits than this, so I feel normal. As normal as I can be, anyway. I didn’t put anything on my face save for a lip gloss and I got my matching black pouch, which I filled with my wallet, temporary cellphone, and a few other necessities. 

Finally I went out to the hall and found Dad waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

“You look wonderful.” I walked down with care and kissed him lovingly on the cheek. “You’re biased as Mom, but thank you.”

He laughed, “I’m not biased, you’re too hard on yourself.” Then he escorted me to the door and gave me a really tight hug. “Have fun ‘til you can’t breathe, okay? You’re only in highschool once.” I giggled as he pulled back, “Yes, and thank God for that.” 

He gave me one last kiss on the head and a smile. Before I went out into the night, I blew him our trademark flying kiss.

The kiss that meant one of us will be away from quite some time.

Chapter 28: Prince in disguise

Chapter 28: Prince in disguise (Wattpad)

Part I:

Positive. I have to think positive.

My insides were twisting in horror, but I did my best to ignore it as I put my bag down on one of the benches and I faintly heard Travis say, “Thanks, Mina.” A helper – I think – nodded and smiled in response and proceeded to transfer my bag beside a briefcase and a Louis Vuitton. 

I took another deep breath as Travis led the way to his parents, who were now conversing lightly, glancing at our direction every now and then. Why are they looking at us like that? My stomach is now churning like crazy and I held Travis’ hand in a vice-like grip and I’m certain that one of us will have a bruise to deal with later on. He whispered in my ear, half-laughing.

“Relax. Smile. Where’s my little genius?”

“I’m right here.” I squeaked. He didn’t answer but traced patterns on my hand with his thumb and I became calmer with every caress.  Tried my best to put on a demure smile on my face as we approached them and in no time, we’re face to face.

“Hi, Mom.” Without letting go of my hand, Travis stepped forward and kissed his mother tenderly on the cheek and hugged her with one arm. As he pulled back, I saw the love between them and there’s no denying that they go along really well. Adding to my surprise was the accessory swinging on her neck, which became still and nestled comfortably on the base of her throat. 

I only have to wonder for three seconds before the memory from last Wednesday came back to my mind with surprising detail; we were shopping for the school dance – me, Cassie and the others – when Travis popped in the shop. He bought the necklace I’m seeing right now. He bought it for his mother! And to think we even considered Athena.

“Dad.” Travis gave his father a brief hug and stepped back, smiling at me. “Mom, Dad, this is Avery. Beautiful, isn’t she?”

Shit.

My knees were shaking and I forced my smile to look as natural as possible as Travis eased me forward with a soft hand on my waist. “Good morning Mr. and Mrs. Warner. It’s nice to meet you.” I sounded tragically nervous and I probably look like a trembling penguin before a shark. Suddenly, Mrs. Warner laughed and stepped forward, rubbing my shoulders. 

“You don’t have to looks so scared, Avery. We won’t hurt you.” She flashed a smile at me that exposed both of her dimples and her brown eyes glistened. She looks so much like her son.

“Oh, you look so pretty. I knew my Travis won’t disappoint. Right, Anthony?” Eyes were drawn to the rock-hard features of Anthony Warner, who looked at me for full three seconds and moved his gaze towards his son. When he faced me again, his expression softened for a fraction and he offered his hand, “Delighted to meet you, Avery.” He said in a deep voice.

In a hazy daze, I shook his hand, my eyes meeting his very blue ones. His eyes are very much like Travis’ but you can see that he uses it more to intimidate, rather than charm. But my mind was constantly repeating, I’m shaking hands with the president of Gedi Institute, the most successful company in the finances…

My hand fell limply to my side as I said, “Thank you, sir.” 

“Don’t call him ‘sir!” Carolyn Warner laughed, “You can call him Dad and call me Mom!” she smiled happily.

Oh my God. 

My heart slammed to my ribcage and my eyes widened in shock. “R-really?” Travis laughed on my side and his father scowled and said, “You’re scaring her, Lyn.”

“I’m not scaring Avery.” She punctuated that with a high laugh, “Please don’t feel uncomfortable around us, Avery. We won’t be mean to you. And why should we? From what we heard, you’re such a sweet girl.”

The tension left my shoulders bit by bit, but my mind was still completely boggled. “Uhm, heard from what?” I asked shyly, biting my lip. Her answer made me jump.

“Heard from Travis, of course! He’s told us so much about you!” She turned to her son with a beam and I stood, my entire body frozen. Travis flushed pink and said, “Mom.”

She giggled, seeming pleased with herself as I tried to process. Travis talked about me? My eyes watered slightly as I speculated just how I appeared to them. What the bloody hell did he say? I gave him a look that plainly said, I’m going to get you later. I received a nervous smile in return.

“Why don’t we walk along the beach and honey, you can leave your slippers. The sand feels good.” She twined her arm around her husband’s as we left our flip-flops on the white sand, away from the waves of the beach. Then all together, we walked with the comforting water lapping at our feet and resumed conversation in friendly tones. Mrs. Warner made the affair alive with her incessant questions and warm laughter. I never expected this, but in several more minutes of walking and talking, I’ve taken a particular liking to them and more than enjoyed their pleasant chatting and presence. The same thing goes to Travis’ father, though he’s reserved throughout the whole exchange, he remained pleasant and at times, he smiled at me.

Not any word can describe how that simple smile meant to me. It makes my chest tight with a sense of welcome, that somehow, they don’t despise me at all. They like me.

“Does anyone want to go swimming?” Mrs. Warner asked curiously. I barely got a word out of my mouth when Travis said, “Avery does.” Then he put a firm arm around my shoulders, not letting me to squirm away from his side. Then he added, “I’ll join her, of course.”

“Of course, Trav. You can go change.” Mrs. Warner smiled brightly at us as Travis half-led and half-dragged me to the nearest hut with a single seating bench. 

“What the hell are you doing?” I said through clenched teeth. The thought of the bikini came back to my mind full-blast and I stopped in my tracks, crossing my arms over my chest. I tried my best – believe me, I did – to appear as if I’m pissed off, but I could already feel the blush spread across my cheeks. Travis smiled and put his hands on my waist and I felt more certain than ever that he shouldn’t, at all costs, see me in the bloody two-piece creation meant for girls who are prettier than me. He shouldn’t.

“Now, just what are you afraid of?” he asked in a sing-song voice, his eyes already full of malice. 

“Honestly, I’m afraid of you.” I replied, brushing the strands of hair that are blown in the wind, hindering my vision. He smoothed the top of my head and smiled wider, “You’re not afraid of just me. You’re also afraid of showing too much skin.” He winked. My worries increased and I pursed my lips, trying not to show how panicked I am. I…must…not.

Travis chuckled mirthfully and he pressed closer, our bodies touching. “This is fun.”

“This is humiliating. Your parents are watching, for God’s sake.” 

“No, they’re not.” He answered with calmness etched to his face and stance, “They gave us some privacy.” At his words, I whipped my head around and indeed found the area deserted. 

Great.

“If you have some mercy, you won’t let me swim at all.” My pulse and heartbeats are increasing with every passing moment and it took only a sliver of patience and sanity not to run. I need to escape.

“Let’s say I don’t have mercy.” He replied, his expression serious and he looked at me straight in the eye, clearly of the intention of letting me know he’s not joking now. Well, that makes two of us.

“It’s not my decision to wear what I’m wearing.” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. His eyes glinted and one of his eyebrows pitched up. He asked, “Underneath?”

“Stop looking so sexy.” I snapped while my whole face turned crimson. He didn’t seem to hear me as his grip tightened on me and he asked further, “You’re wearing a two-piece underneath, aren’t you?”

“No – Yes. I don’t know!” I cried out hysterically. This is just getting worse, damn it. His fingers came up to the knot at the back of my neck. “You don’t know? Well, why don’t we find out?” he started untying it and I froze, aware of my hyperventilating. In a sudden reflex, my hand reached back to stop him. I should’ve screamed but I only managed a whisper of, “No. Why don’t we just by something from the – ”

“It’s not like you’re the only one in swimming attire.” I turned to a more deeper shade of red as he started undressing, leaving him clad only in Speedo trunks that reached to the top of his perfectly carved knees. I gulped when he stepped forward, enclosing me in the circle of his arms. He said in a solemn voice, “Your turn.”

“Wha – what?” I tried my hardest not to drool, but that’s a hard feat. I mean, I’ve seen his six-pack and it’s just difficult to maintain a sense of being normal when it’s really in front of you and your hands are free to roam and touch…

“Point taken.” I heard him say. I blinked several times and looked at his face, “What point? Sorry, I was lost in…thought.” He regarded me with a slight smile as he said, “If what I saw earlier isn’t you staring at me with lust, then I don’t know what the hell it is.”

My mind went blank. I sputtered, “Lust? I’m not a lusty person – ”

“Sure, you are.”

 

“I am so not. I’m a normal person.”

“If you experience it, it doesn’t mean that you’re abnormal.” He stated matter-of-factly. Taking a deep breath, I reached behind me and undid the tie, “I’ll look ridiculous.” Biting my lower lip, I tugged the dress down and discarded it beside Travis’ clothes. The caramel stood out against my porcelain skin and I shifted uncomfortably, lifting my eyes to see his reaction.

I instantly reddened as I saw him eyeing me with his blue orbs wide with wonder – and something else.

“This is ridiculous.” I whispered.

“You’re right.” He leaned forward, “I don’t know how I can just stand like that.” He kissed me with a passion I’ve never experienced from him before and I was absolutely undone. I forced myself to move back, “Why – why don’t we – ” I breathed hard, “Why don’t we just go swimming?”

“Good idea.” He said in a husky voice.

“I don’t thi – ” he crashed his lips to mine again, at the same time, lifting me up and I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist, my arms around his neck. I had no idea where he is heading, but I could feel the motion of his legs and suddenly, the sound of monstrous waves came up behind me and saltwater splashed on my back. Breathing hard, I opened my eyes while Travis nuzzled my bare shoulder. We were thigh deep in water and my mind is in total disarray. My chest was heaving as I felt him gather my loose hair on one side and he sucked on my neck.

“God, Travis.” I pulled back again, only to have him look at me with hunger, which is either a really good or a really bad thing. I became strikingly aware of my legs still around him and I unlatched myself, landing in the cold water.

“Jesus, it’s so cold!” My teeth clattered almost instantly and I looked at him, “You didn’t tell me it was cold!” I wrapped my arms around myself against the chill. It’s so coooold. The corners of his lips turned up in a smile, “I didn’t notice. You see, I was busy. But then you had to cut my fun.” I rolled my eyes, still shaking violently.

“Right. Thanks bunches.”

His smile brightened as he put both his hands on my shoulders and guided me deeper to the waters, “It’ll go away.” I opened my mouth to protest but he beat me to it, “Should we have a making out session number two completely without clothes this time?”

I quickly swallowed my retort and didn’t say a word until we’re both underwater from the neck down. “This isn’t half-bad.” I remarked, aware of the constant brushes of his feet against my legs.

“Told you.” He winked again.

For the rest of the remaining hours of morning, we remained soaked; we first had a swimming race and then we took pictures of anything interesting underwater with his waterproof camera. Then we took stolen pictures of each other. It was as if everything I’ve suffered through; all the longing, the waiting, had all been for this particular moment. More than enough compensation for the constant yearning for that someone who would bring out something different from me, to actually look at me, not like so many others.

But he’s been there all along. My prince in disguise.

Part II:

We ate light dinner on the hut with Travis’ parents. There were lamps glowing, guiding us with light as we ate our shrimps and crabs. To be honest, the wooden table was filled with all the seafood I could think of and each must’ve cost a fortune. I huddled myself to Travis’ jacket, which I’m wearing over my wet garments but no one seemed to mind as we laughed and talked, enjoying each other’s company. 

Everything seemed to pass in a state of blur, because the next thing I know, I was bidding goodbye to Mr. and Mrs. Warner beside Travis’ car. They were making offers and invitations for me to come to their home – slash mansion – anytime I want and that I’ll always be welcomed. As they waved and smiled goodbye, I got in the car, as well as Travis and we were speeding out of the place.

I played with the hem of my summer dress which I wore again after dinner, and smiled contentedly. Behind the wheel, Travis also smiled. “And this morning, you were worried about dying.” He shook his head. I yawned and relaxed, then I snuggling deeper to the warm seat.

“I’m tired.”

“Sleep, love.”

I closed my eyes and let sleep take over me. That was the last words – those two words – that he ever said to me.

Chapter 19: Change of things

Chapter 19: Change of things (Wattpad)

“Harvey! Where’s Niq – oh, there you are. Come here, both of you. Why the hell are you so wet?”

Delsey tugged at their identical shirts and put it in their, yes, identical bags. She pulled her short, curly hair to one side of her shoulder and appraised the twins with eyes like her father Lawrence’s. “What have you been doing outside?”

As the midgets scrambled to an explanation, I’m on the floor, nibbling on my cookie and tried to pay attention on the spin the bottle game. Lorraine started this after drinking her softdrink and everyone tagged along. And everyone seemed to be intensely focused, too.

Well, not everyone.

“Avery.” Lorraine tugged on my arm. “You’re mentally absent again. You have been since you came downstairs. Di my sis freak you out?” I managed a chuckle and said, “Everything’s fine.” I gave her a smile for reassurance and we both watched Kat do her dare – don’t ask what it is, you won’t believe me. As everyone burst to laughter, my mind wandered off again several miles from here to a different place.

To the park.

I still can’t believe it, even though the undeniable facts are there. He’s gorgeous and I do enjoy my time with him. I really do, he makes me laugh – makes my blood boil – but he makes me smile and other things. He’s always asking nonsense questions but I like it, somehow. And he’s…different. He’s just…perfect.

Put two and two together, there goes my common sense, gone with the wind to who knows where.

I’m so stupid. I think I’ve been blinding myself all along.

My thoughts were pierced by a raucous peal of laughter all around me and I was jolted back to reality. I turned my head to the side and found everyone’s eyes on me, gleeful expressions on their faces. Expecting the obvious, I looked down at the empty bottle and found it pointing at me. 

Great. Just what I needed.

“Truth or dare?” they all said in chorus. I better not screw this up – my cousins may be head over heels for guys, but they’re smart. Guardian angel, I hope you’re there.

“Dare.” I said with my stomach churning in horror. Instantly, they all went about their ideas, cutting off one another and grabbing my arm and telling me what to do. Beyond all the chaos, I heard Kat whine, “Let’s ask Avery why she’s not telling us about her boyfriend.” 

Oh, no. Fuck, fuck. I averted my eyes from her and pretended I didn’t hear anything. None of them did – they were still in a colossal disorder. But my heartbeats didn’t slow down.

Kathlyn must’ve heard her father and I talk earlier! Aaargh. Please. Let Kat keep that valuable information to herself. If she so much as hint someone…oh, God.

I’ll use my fist to rearrange Uncle Zed’s teeth. Who said I can’t? Smart people can also be tough. I’ll have to talk to Kat alone later. 

Delsey raised up her voice and said, “Hey! Would you please keep it down? Decide what to do with Avery and just move on. No need to have such a ruckus.” I emitted a small sigh of relief. Delsey had been always like that. She’s the oldest in our generation – twenty-two years old – and so she’s the one always taking care of us, watching over and reminding us to be careful. She’s always the one I ask advice from. Lorraine said in her singer voice, “I really have a good one, guys. Listen here – ”

My phone started ringing.

There was a moment of intense silence wherein they stared at my vibrating pocket with thousands of questions in their eyes. Hervey said, “Why aren’t you answering, Avery? Are you scared?”

You bet I am.

I hesitated for a second more and brought out my phone, holding my breath when Elaine said, “Put it on loudspeaker.”

She’s usually a good cousin.

I clenched my teeth and braced myself to see his name.

It’s Cassie.

I exhaled, answered the goddamned call and put it on loudspeaker. “Hey, Case. You really scared – ”

“You and me! Sitting on a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! You tell her – ”

Pure terror shot through me and I fumbled with my phone and managed to put it on handset option and fucking jammed the cursed phone on my ear, “Why the hell are you singing Hey Daydreamer out loud – ”

“Hey, Avery!”

 

“Theresa? Is that you? Why the – What – ”

“Avery! If you can see what we’re seeing right now – ”

“Nicole? Where are you all – ”

“Oh, nothing. We’re just chilling out here at Case’s place and looking at you kissing your boyfriend crazy in a magazine – ”

“WHAT? Magazine?! What – ”

“Ave?” Elaine looked at me with curiosity all over her face. “Is there some kind of emergency – ” I covered the phone with my other hand and regarded all of them. I probably look like a wild animal, but I don’t care. What Lexi said was – that was just – 

“I’ll be right back.” I told all of them, standing up and heading to the door. I told my friends over the phone, “Just hang in there, guys – ”

“Avery?” Oh, Jesus Christ, what now? I turned my head to the dining table where Mom was and sent her an annoyed scowl and I mouthed, ‘What?’

“Could you get the magazines I ordered from the gate? And don’t scowl at me, darling.”

I blinked.

“Magazines? Like, Entertainment Weekly, Daily Candy and others like that?”

“Yes, and a bunch more. Could you get it, please?” 

“Sure.” I love you, Mom. I went out the door as quick as a flash and closed the door behind me. 

“What the fuck is going on – ”

“We told you, Ave – ” Cassie was interrupted by Lexi who said in an excited voice, “Looks like you had fun, Ave!” They all burst to laughter and I know for a fact that they have tears in their eyes right now. But I don’t – don’t – care about any wretched thing at the moment. My heart is pounding really fast and I’m hyperventilating in a bad way.

This is not happening to me. It’s not. In just about a second, I will wake up and this will be all a very, very bad dream. A nightmare.

“Ave, maybe I should tell you properly.” Nicole started saying and I can distinctly hear her saying to the others, “Shut up, you guys! She’s freaking out!” She went back to me, “We’re partying here, but we know how you are with you family so we didn’t pressure you to come.” 

Okay, fuck this. This isn’t a bloody nightmare. It’s real. 

“So, uhm. We were reading some magazines like we always do when we hang out and we were…surprised.” She laughed nervously – she’s avoiding the subject. Of all my friends, Nicole is the most diplomatic, the good girl. She’s the angel. Nicole avoiding the topic is not a good sign.

“Say it to me straight, Cole. What is it?”

‘Uhm…well. According to Hello! Magazine and a dozen others, you and Travis went out on Friday afternoon and you had a date. But we knew that. These pictures, though. These pictures of you eating ice cream, his arm around you…the tree, it was just…wow.”

The whole world exploded before my eyes.

Pictures. From…from the tree.

My mind and body felt numb and I couldn’t process the information properly. This is too freaky to be true. I should’ve seen someone. We would’ve seen that someone who shot the pictures. It’s impossible. There has to be rational explanation for what is happening right now.

“Pictures…from – from the park? Ridge park?” I asked in a voice I couldn’t even recognize. Nicole hesitated, seemed to argue with herself and decided to say, “Yeah, where they sell those ridiculously priced ice creams.”

I took a deep breath and forced my eyes to look at the mailbox at out front gate – which was stuffed with a package wrapped in brown paper. The size looks too perfect for it to be a coincidence. I groaned my heart out.

“Ave?” came from my phone was Nicole’s sympathetic voice. “I just figured that you should probably know before your family does. So, you know, you’ll have warning. And it’s your choice to tell them – it’s your bloody boyfriend.” When I didn’t respond, still shocked to the core, she said worriedly, “Ave, you okay?”

“Were there other pictures? And what does the magazine say about me?”

“Magazines, Ave. There’s more than one and they all – oh. Nevermind that. There’s one with both of you inside the shop, walking through the park and I think I see his car in the distance. Oh, by the way, is it true that his plate number is personalized?”

“Yeah. It’s TAW 018.” I supplied lifelessly. 

“Wow. And, oh right, you were asking. So, just a sec.” I heard the flipping of pages and she went back to me, “This one’s the same, but he has his arm around you, looking at you and he’s smiling. You look sweet!” 

I couldn’t breathe.

“Go on, Cole.”

“Right, sorry. You’re on the grass, eating ice cream. Then he’s tickling you.  Then there are lots of others. Seriously, Ave, you were playing tag? Then this one, he’s up on the tree, holding out his hand for you. You both look fantastic. You look like you came out of a movie or something.” She flipped the next page and paused. No. Please, God, no. That pause is bad. Very bad. Please don’t tell me that they have a photo of that, too. Nicole said in a squeaky voice, 

“You’re both up the tree now. He…he has his chin on your chin your shoulder and the next picture, you were…uhm. You were actually…” I heard her take a quick breath, “Do you want me to say the truth or cushion you with a lie?”

No. No, no, no. I took a deep, deep breath and said,

“I’ll just…call you back.” She responded to me immediately, “Sure. Don’t stress over it too much, okay? These things happen and just…just make sure you won’t have a heart attack when you see it and…Ave?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad you found him.”

“I know.” I replied feebly. “Bye.” The line went dead and I put the phone back to my pocket with numb fingers. Breathing rapidly, I took small steps towards our gate and faced the package.

Okay, what was it that Uncle Zed always say when there’s a challenge?

No guts, no glory, my dear niece. You have to do whatever you have to do with confidence. Same goes for no pain, no gain. It’s quiet the same. So, just wing it.

Confidence. Yes, got it. I took a few more steps forward and with trembling hands, got the package. Now that it’s in my hands, there’s no doubt that it’s a bunch of magazines. Steeling myself, I tore off the brown paper and a large streak of it came off, leaving me to look at a photo of Travis and I kissing under the canopy of trees from People Magazine. Front cover.

Chapter 18: Blasted cookies

Chapter 18: Blasted cookies (Wattpad)

Part I:

Why isn’t the world cooperating with me in this crucial situation? I just need an answer to why. Both of my parents were still looking at me expectantly, hoping for an answer. Crap, crap, crap. I obviously can’t wriggle my way out of this one. My teeth clenched and I forced them to unsnap so I could speak.

“Travis is a good…listener.” Fuck. If I said he was a good kisser, my Dad would pop an artery and Mom will be out of sorts and my entire life will be in shambles. 

Where are you, guardian angel?

“What do you tell him, honey?” Mom asked curiously. Gah. Why are they so nosy? Why do they want to know? Why is this happening to me? I licked my lips and answered vaguely, “I tell him stuff about…myself.” I nodded slightly, “Yeah, that’s about it.” Dad destroyed my life by saying, 

“Do you think he can come tomorrow?”

Bloody hell no.

“I dunno, Dad. Maybe. I’ll just, you know, ask him.” I shrugged my shoulders, “He’s kind of busy.” Dad nodded and replied, “Good, that’s okay.” Mom was still smiling at me in that weird way that makes me think she knows something. She probably does, but all she said was, “Can you help me tidy this up?”

After everything’s been taken care of, I went to my room and shut the door. The package from this morning stared up at me from the bed. I approached and sat beside it, fingering the lid. I was saving this for tonight – a.k.a. right now – because frankly, I don’t know what to expect. It’s from his mother. From Mrs. Warner. 

I sucked up my courage and opened it, and there before my eyes was a cocktail dress. My brow furrowed. It’s colored caramel with swirly designs all over it. It’s really…cute. But atleast it’s not pink. The dress is modest actually, considering what it is. But when I turned it around, I scowled deeper – from the waist up, the place where a normal zipper would be was replaced by a criss-crossing type of tying and the ribbon is at the bottom. 

Why a dress? Why not a bomb or something?

Suddenly, there was a knocking on the door and it swung open, showing Mom in her pajamas. Her eyes instantly lit up and appraised the dress, while closing the door behind her. 

“Hi, Mom.”

She smiled and sat down next to me. “I like the dress.” I chuckled a little and replied, “Yeah, it’s nice.”

“I just came here to check on you.” She stood up and planted a kiss on my head, “Goodnight, Avery.”

“’Night, Mom.”

She walked back and shut the door close, leaving me alone. I pursed my lips, deliberating. To hell with the dress; I have another thing to do. I carefully placed the item back and covered it, and then I put it inside my cabinet. I pulled out my stationary and my ballpen and looked at what I wrote so far – 

Things I hate about Travis Anthony Warner

He makes my blood boil.

He thinks he rules the world.

He’s vain.

All of those things are sort of true, up to this very moment, but the list looks lacking somehow. I need to write more.

He’s impulsive. The bloody tree incident would stay with me forever. I wrote again, He’s a bad influence. Three words for that – cutting bloody classes. My record is destroyed. 

I sat on my bed for several minutes and just wrote down everything. It feels like some weight has been lifted from my shoulder actually. When I was done, I looked at all my additional entries.

He spends too much money.

He’s used to dominating people.

He wants you to answer his orders.

He always has surprises.

He’s just the bane of my existence, okay?

He likes to break the bloody rules.

His smile is bright. Too bright.

He can make people laugh easily. It’s unfair.

He thinks he’s a good kisser.

I looked at the last entry. I know that I’m slightly lying when I wrote that, but…Jesus Christ. What am I supposed to do, then? I furiously grabbed my pen and crashed out the last one and wrote below it,

He’s a good kisser. So what?

-

Several miles away, the same kisser was hunched over a paper, pen in hand. 

She can be a good kisser. Can be.

-

Part II:

“Mom, where the hell is the baking soda?”

“Your father’s still at the supermarket, he’ll have it.” She was creaming together the butter, brown and white sugar. “Honey, can you pass two eggs to me, please?” I automatically opened the refrigerator and got out the eggs. I tossed them to Mom, one at a time. “Thanks, hun.” While she beat them and stirred in the vanilla, I heated two teaspoons of water.

If you look around the kitchen right now, you wouldn’t know that we’re preparing a dessert for ten people. It’s still ordered as much as possible thanks to my mother’s uncanny ability to wipe out as much as a splat of liquid. Dad has gone to the market, buying anything that we still need and Mom gave him a list, so he couldn’t be long. We’re actually expecting him right now.

“Mom, we really need the baking – ” I was interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell and without being asked, I went to the front gate to let Dad in. I found him laden with groceries as I swung the gate open.

“Hey, Dad. Let me help.” I started heaving one of the bags up and he did the same with the others, following me to the perfectly manicured lawn. “Thanks, honey. I needed that.” 

“I figured.” I winked at him.

When Dad finally laid down the bags, Mom and I went into overdrive, doing what needs to be done as if reading each other’s minds while Dad came out to the garden to hang up the circular lantern things for light later this evening. I helped Mom stir in the flour, chocolate chips and the cup of chopped walnuts, though I felt like crumpling to the floor and just sleep.

I haven’t had a decent sleep last night. I think it would be a long time before I experience that particular privilege once again. Finally, I figured that wasting my energy on thinking about someone at night when they’re not even sparing me a second thought was downright useless. So I fell asleep at four am.

          And woke up at six. Splendid. 

Also, it was really foolish to have a silly crush on someone because most probably, you’re they’re only option when bored. That twisted amount of sleep surprisingly did a lot on straightening my views.

“Avery, can you shape these and put it in the pans? I’ll check if your Dad broke his leg or something.” I chuckled while replying, “Okay, Mom. Take your time.” She went out and discarded her apron on the way and I resumed my task. We’ve been doing nothing but prepare the food and the house for the onslaught of visitors in just about an hour. But we haven’t even prepared ourselves.

Five minutes later, the almost-finished cookies are inside the oven set to 350 degrees Fahrenheit – converting that to degrees Celsius that would be – gah. Nevermind. Dad was on the upstairs bathroom getting ready and though I insisted on keeping watch over the cookies, Mom won me over and now, I’m scanning the contents of my cabinet, looking for something suitable to wear. I always had trouble dressing up for parties of any kind.

          “Avery!” I heard my Mom calling downstairs and I walked towards the window beside the cabinet and opened it, looking down. I saw Mom wearing her apron and looking up at me from the ground floor of the house. She only said, “They’ll be here in thirty.” 

Oh, God.

I quickly grabbed anything at random together with a towel and ran from the room. 

30 minutes later

The sound of the van pulling up on the front of our house, followed by an SUV made my stomach churn. It’s not like I don’t love my family enough to not anticipate gatherings, it’s just the current situation that had me on my toes. Please don’t let Travis come here or anything like that to happen, guardian angel. Please.

Mom and Dad were already outside, and I could hear the greetings from my uncles, giggles and chatters of my cousins and everyone’s “how have you been” questions. In the kitchen, I removed the last batch of cookies from the oven. Right after I did that, I heard Aunt Laine say,

“Avery, come here!” Instantly, Harvey and Nique chorused together, their voices raised and loud, “Yeah, Avery, come here!” I sighed. The others I could handle, my twin devil cousins, not so much. Who knew five year-olds can be so annoying?

I walked over to the front door, noting my appearance on our wall mirror and surveyed my skinny jeans and grey turtleneck over my slim build. Skinny would be more accurate, but I don’t want to encourage myself to commit suicide. I look okay, okay? And I like the fact that the sleeves reach up to my elbows. Steeling myself, I opened the door and a sea of people was before my eyes, all talking with rapport on out front yard. I only heard the shrieks of the twins for me to recognize their arrival.

“Avery! Do you have candy? I want candy – ”

“I don’t like candy! I want your cookies!” Harvey cut his twin off. Both of them have high IQ for their age – like me – so they can already speak fluently in the age of five. Harvey is seven minutes older than Nique, but by behavior, it seems otherwise. She started dragging her twin inside and I didn’t even bother coming in after them – the last time I tried…let’s just not talk about it. I walked to the lawn uncomfortably, sending smiles of my own for those sent to my direction and I joined Mom and Dad talk with Grandpa Ian and Uncle Lawrence. Grandpa Ian came from Dad’s side and they look so creepily alike aside from the things that change the visage as age goes by. Mom is Uncle Lawrence’s sister-in-law; he married her sister, Aunt Elise, but she passed away two years ago, leaving Uncle to take care of his twins and his oldest, Delsey. 

Delsey and Uncle Rence are the only one who can control the twins without raising their voices or making a fuss. They’re talented like that. 

“Look at you!” Uncle began. He always begins greetings with me in that sentence and the next thing he would say would be that he wouldn’t be able – 

“I wouldn’t be able to recognize you! You’ve grown so much, come give your uncle a hug.”

“Hey, Uncle Rence.” I hugged him tightly. He used to give me ten bucks just for hugging him and as he pulled back now, he gave me a wink. That probably means that I’ll get it later. I grinned at him hugely then turned to Grandpa.

“Hey, Grandpa. Uhm, what’s up?” We were never really close, so it’s achingly awkward when we greet. But unlike others of his age, Grandpa doesn’t use a cane, saying that they’re “a complete waste of money and energy.” I couldn’t agree more; when he was still in his thirties, he exercised an awful lot, went to the gym, had swimming and jogging activities, every single thing. He turned to me and a slight frown was on his face, “Why do you ask what’s up?” he demanded snappily, “In our days, we don’t ask what’s up or down or to the side – we ask properly. Now, my child, let me hear you do the same.” 

I told you it’s awkward.

“How’s the Himalayas adventure, Grandpa?”

I could tell he wasn’t expecting me to know that, but he smiled genuinely, looking pleased. He smiled toothily and said in response, “It was wonderful, honey.” I took my cue and pecked him on the cheek and turned to the others just as Mom said, “Let’s go inside, what do you think?” As we all followed her, Elaine took my arm and smiled at me. I chuckled and said, “Long time, no see.”

“I have something to share with you later.” She looks excited already and I could tell she’s going to share a lot. At this rate, I know I should be explaining my family tree to you so you won’t get confused and be out of track.

Elaine is my cousin on my Mom’s side and she has two other sisters – Lorraine and Kathlyn. El’s the oldest, followed by Lorraine and Kat. I used to tease them being Charlie’s Angels, but that was a few years ago. Their father, Uncle Zedrick, is Mom’s brother. He’s divorced but Elaine and the others still see their mother at Christmas and on holidays.

So that’s about it. The others are back home at Raleigh, and others still, moved out of the country. We’re a little bit scattered across the globe, so we’re always grateful when we have some guests over. I heard Kat say, “Uncle Charlie, do we have to get our bags from the van?” As my Dad said no and explained why, I marveled at the fact at how a seven year-old could sound so cute.

Once everyone was in, Dad discreetly turned on the music and the house became alive at once, the jazz music flowing smoothly through the room as everyone took places at the couch, stood around and caught up with one another. Knowing what to do, I went to the kitchen and got the softdrinks and passed them around.

“Avery!”  I turned around and faced Uncle Zed, his salt and pepper hair the same, like his lanky build and easygoing manner that accented his eyes. He said, “You shouldn’t be serving drinks like a bloody waitress!” he took the softdrinks away from my hands before I could protest and told me, “Nuh-uh. No buts here, Avery. Let’s sit down here.” I just smiled, giving up and I seated myself next to my closest uncle in the whole family.

We’ve been close as far as I can remember – he brought me my first bike, taught me how to play cards, gave me money for no reason, things like that. Uncle Zed is fantastic.

“So.” He said.

“So.” I just nodded, repeating what he just said. He chuckled and came straight to the point, “Sylvia said something interesting to me.” As my posture turned rigid and I froze, his eyes shined. His expression looked like he was finally attaining his inner desires. Fuck.

Look here, since I turned fifteen, his number one priority for me had been to get me a boyfriend. I managed to avoid it until now. But I knew this would happen. No one can hide anything in this family. He said, “So.”

“So.” I echoed faintly. Uncle chuckled and turned to me, “I just want to know some details and it might not spread around this party.” He winked conspiratorially. 

“But – but – It’s pretty complicated – ”

“What? Is that your new status on Facebook or something?” I gave him a knowing smile. “Nice try. You know I don’t have an account.” He laughed jovially and took a swig of softdrink. “I was trying to be in-the-now but nevermind that. So what’s his name?”

“Shh!” I said hastily. Uncle Zed knowing is better than someone or anyone else. I wonder what would happen if the twins find out?

Too ghastly. I won’t think about that again.

“Okay, okay.” He amended slightly in hushed tones, “So what’s the gent’s name?” he whispered. I rolled my eyes and replied, “Travis.” His eyebrows pitched up and his comment was, “He sounds handsome,” he have exactly no idea, “And his last name?”

Okay, deep breaths. Do I tell that his family is a multi-millionaire and producing hundreds of thousands on every tick of the clock or just shut the hell up?

“Just Travis.”

He pursed his lips, “Hmm. Sounds like you’re keeping something from good ol’ Uncle Zed.” Aaargh. I cannot tell him that they own Gedi Institute. I just can’t. That would be too…overwhelming, cliché and comical and just about everything I don’t find appealing. I turned to him.

“I’ll just tell you some other time. Just not now, please?” he chuckled and asked his own question. “Who else knows?”

“Everyone at school, Mom, Dad and You. Do I have to mention that you’re the weak link?” As I said that, he just seemed more amused.

“Don’t you trust me? I’d very much like to meet this Travis.” He grinned at me excitedly.

The party went full blast as the clock ticked by. Every now and then there would be a peal of laughter followed by another joke which would make us crack up. The adults were on the table with a bottle of wine and they’re talking about our relatives in London. Meanwhile, my cousins and I are sprawled on the living room floor.

It’s Nique’s turn now to use the speed stacks. For someone her age, she can already play it as well as me and better than Lorraine and Kat. Everyone in the family has a forte.

Unfortunately, my skills don’t fall on the lie-right-now-it-would-save-your-neck category.

2 hours later

“Avery, I deserve him, right?” Elaine held my hands, while we stood alone in the bedroom. Everyone else was downstairs and I can even hear the twins running and screaming their lungs out, but here I am. For full forty minutes, Elaine fed me information about this guy named Ethan, who was apparently sending her emails and met her last week. She’s lovestruck.

No, she’s obsessed. 

“Avery, answer me! I do deserve him, right? I always get As, I always get the top spot in class and I’m always an honor student!” her eyes were wide and she prattled on before I could say a word. “Not that I exert effort to have a boyfriend, but the point is that, I worked hard! Then this guy comes along and – what the bloody hell should I do? Let the opportunity slip?”

“Actually, I’d – ”

“Bloody hell no, right?”

I stifled a sigh and tried to search for a right answer. She’s fifteen and I think this is her first time…like me. Unfortunately. 

“Listen, El. Just take it slow, all right? Make sure what you really want is…that guy.”

“Ethan.” she reminded with an eyebrow raised. 

“Right. Ethan. So, just keep your emotions in check before you rush into anything, okay?” 

“But, just listen! Okay, Ave.” she took a deep breath, “Okay, just picture this for a moment: your life was dull. Grey. Not much of anything. And you’re always surrounded by friends! I love my friends, but I’m looking for something else. Get me?”

I more than see what this long-haired blonde means.

“Yeah, I see. So what happens – ”

“So, this guy comes so suddenly and…everything went perfect!” she was smiling so hugely now and she said the following words with so much emotion, “Everything changed! Your life isn’t dull and grey anymore! It's colorful and it’s just perfect! Ave, I feel so wonderful for no reason and I feel perfect all the time! Isn’t that amazing? Ave, I am so happy. I hope you meet him!”

Her eyes were shining so bright now and with it, came the sparkle. She looks so…in love. 

“Ave, you okay?”

I blinked rapidly. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

Elaine seemed hesitant, “You know, you seem different today. I just can’t point my finger on it.” Her forehead crinkled in thought, “I saw you laughing with Lorraine earlier.”

That was odd. “Err, and what’s wrong with laughing?”

“Ave, when we have parties, you stick your nose on a book and never resurface for hours.” Damn, she’s sharp, “I find it fishy.”

“I just laughed – ”

“Whoa, you’re blushing!” she said incredulously. “Avery, are you in love with a guy?”

No! 

“No, I’m not! Why the hell would I be?”

She was smiling, “You know, I’ve studied the signs of lying and you’re displaying every single bit of denial I can find – ”

“No. Seriously. I’m not – ”

“So, what’s his name?”

This is not. No. I’m not in love with that crazy, son of a – 

“Avery?”

Absorbed in my own mind, I muttered absently, “You know, why don’t you just grab some cookies downstairs and call Ethan?” At the mention of his name, all other thoughts flew out of her mind and she hugged me, “Thank you, Ave!” Without further ado, she let go and raced downstairs.

I swept my hand through my hair and bit my lower lip, but seeing nothing at all. This is scary. I’ve been very careful not to think about the l-word around him and El just shoved it to my face. 

I felt my heart rate getting faster and faster as my mind came to one certain, obvious conclusion. Moisture gathered. 

Avery, are you in love with a guy?

Fuck.